Poppy's Front Porch - in the Missouri Ozarks

Poppy's Front Porch - in the Missouri Ozarks
This photo was taken in 1949. My cousins and I remember the porch after our grandfather walled it in, added a door and big screen windows.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Notes from the househusband, part 1: Consequences

Earlier today I was sorting clothing for the laundry. There was one item, I forget what it was exactly now, maybe a shirt or a woman’s top, but I noticed the care label and the admonition to use “only non-chlorine bleach”. Plainly stated in only four words, but I didn’t laugh and neither should you. It’s a serious business.

You might think you’ll get away with using the wrong bleach just this once, but I’m convinced otherwise. It’s better to be safe than sorry, so I’ll never use chlorine bleach on anything; because they have ways of finding out.

High tech ways.

They will come to your house some night, some cold night when you least expect it. They will break down your door and drag you from your warm comfortable home out into the cold. And all of your tears and your pleading for mercy will be to no avail.

Then they will begin to thump…

Eh what…there aren’t? You’re really sure about that? So they were pulling my leg about the bleach police?

Okay, well anyway don’t use the wrong bleach because there will be some kind of natural consequence. Your clothes will turn the wrong color or get a funny smell or something.

It would be bad, I’m telling you.

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