Mike's Birthday: What not to do

It’s likely that Mike will celebrate his birthday today in a subdued manner at his home, Subdued Manor. But I could be wrong about that, any time now there might be a big crowd of revelers arriving for the festivities.

And you just might be one of them!

Is there anything better than celebrating with good friends, good conversation, and great dessert? And is there anything worse than the sudden realization that you just did or said exactly the wrong thing, brought the celebration to a screeching halt, and now everyone’s staring at you with their mouths open, dumbfounded?

Forewarned is forearmed as they say, and if you’ll give me your attention for just a bit, maybe I can help prevent any embarrassing moments.

It could be that you want to bring a CD to share some music, and you may be asking, “what kind of music does Mike like”?  I think it’s safe to say that he knows more about the contemporary Christian music scene than I do, and while I don’t know his favorites, that would probably be a good genre to choose from. He’s also listened to a lot of what they used to call “top 40” rock music. I think he would enjoy most anything by the Beatles, and I’ve heard him speak well of Billy Joel. Van Morrison would be a great choice, of course. And if you have a copy of Rocky Mountain Way by Joe Walsh, bring it on and let the party begin!

Think twice about bringing your Pink Floyd collection, though. A few seconds of Floyd might seem like hours to Mike. And the band Rush is right out. You might be shown the door for that.

Mike loves to talk about baseball, and a conversation about the Saint Louis Cardinals is always a hit. But if you happen to be a fan of “the team that shall not be mentioned by name” (think big city, small bears), it’s probably just as well to keep silent about that.

Mike also follows the news, but you want to take care bringing up just any old item. Say, maybe you’ve been following a story about a city somewhere where the people have long endured a major crime spree, and the heck of it is that the police force is as corrupt as the criminals; the poor decent souls have lost hope. There might be a better time than a birthday party to mention that.

After all, in a big city like Gotham, Batman would never allow such a situation to drag on that long. He would have dealt with it on day one.

And speaking of that, you might have thought of surprising Mike by arriving in costume. That seems creative, but you want to choose wisely. If I were you, I’d walk right past the Joker, Riddler, Penguin, and Catwoman costumes and say, no thanks. Even if they are in the reduced bin marked half off for quick sale.

Mike always likes a good clean joke, but he’s already heard the one where a cat, a monkey, and Indiana Jones walk into a bar. Just sayin’.

I’m sure there will be dessert. But if you want to bring extra {considering the crowd of people and all), well that’s considerate of you and it would be appreciated.

If you don’t bring some kind of weird sour pickle dessert, that is. This is the day for chocolate mayonnaise cake. Oh, and don’t eat all of Mike’s cake. Not only is that bad manners, you probably won’t be invited back next year.

One other thing, Mike isn’t all that enthusiastic about fireworks. I know, that’s hard to believe, but it’s true nonetheless. Sure, maybe a few sparklers would be fun for a few minutes.

Outdoors.

But hours worth of firecrackers, cone fountains, Roman candles, artillery shells, and missile barrages? All those sparks and popping and booming, into the small hours of the morning? Mike can do without all that. He’d rather call it a day at a decent hour, and get a good night’s rest.

After all, some people have to get up early in the morning.

Please join with me in wishing Mike a Happy Birthday!